The Ghoulish Plot: A once-acclaimed director made a weird, fun and unique movie in 1988 about a rural couple dying and meeting a weird demon creature that somehow grabbed the interest of the public and became a Saturday morning cartoon show. Many years and famous actress girlfriends later and after remaking “Dumbo” for some reason, that director reaaaaaally needed a hit and miraculously decided it would be cool to make a sequel to that earlier movie in 2024.

You remember that one kid in high school that you initially thought was pretty cool who wore punk t-shirts and said lots of nihilistic shit, and then eventually you just realized they were an attention-starved weirdo who talked way too much and worked at Hot Topic?

This movie is that person, in movie form. Way too much try-hard plot points thrown at the wall, and instead of the clear protagonist/antagonists situation we got in the first movie, now we have no clear idea idea who we’re supposed to care about or why. They even create a subplot designed specifically to humiliate one of the stars of the first movie (who has since done plenty to disgrace himself) that gets the plot moving, then does nothing else of value the rest of the film. Which is a pretty good summary of the entire movie, I guess.

The Scariest Part of the Movie: That even when you’re dead, most subway cars are filled with people yelling and dancing to music and you can’t figure out where the damn train is going in the first place.

Spookiness Factor: just like that Hot Topic kid, it looks like it’s supposed to be scary but then you get up closer and realize it’s full of strawberry Pocky and probably has divorced parents.

Rating: 3 out of 10 Peanut Butter Cups