The Ghoulish Plot: Two wacky guys are working as baggage clerks at a train station in Florida, so they’re already used to some macabre situations that usually involve old conservatives, alligators and meth. The movie opens as they’re expecting a shipment to arrive for delivery to a local “House of Horrors,” also known in Florida as “the local Waffle House after 2am.”

Turns out the large packages include Dracula in a coffin and Frankenstein’s monster in a crate. And they say it was Amazon who made it easy to order anything! The two clerks have been warned not to open the delivery by Larry Talbot, aka The Wolfman, aka “Horror’s greatest metaphor for alcoholism” but due to being zany and wacky, the two don’t listen and hijinks soon ensue. And while I’d heard of Abbott and Costello before as a classic comedy team, the joke formula seems to be “average tall man without joy bosses around slightly overweight shorter man who then makes faces” ‘cuz man, people were starved for entertainment in 1948. This was one of the biggest movies of the year, supposedly. I guess anything was better than sitting around chain smoking in doctor’s offices while thinking about how bad WWII was.

Before long Dracula decides that Costello’s brain would be the perfect replacement for the monster, so the two are lured to a castle that exists in Florida for some reason, and the film culminates in a battle royale that, despite being shot in 1948, is still lauded for its precision and athleticism. Just kidding, two guys randomly run around wackily slamming doors while Dracula fights the Wolfman with a wooden chair. Bela Lugosi was already pretty old and pilled up at this point, so we’ll take what we can get!

The Scariest Part of the Movie: Despite being surrounded by some of the biggest Universal movie monsters of all time, the most dangerous character is the insurance agent who threatens legal action.

Spookiness Factor: pretty tame. If you have younger kids and they seem interested in the Universal movies this might be a good entry point – the most violent parts are some bonks on the head and funny faces. Although this was made in 1948, so also be prepared for some pretty casual fat phobia and misogyny baked into it.

Rating: 4 out of 10 Sour Patch Kids