The Ghoulish Plot: many years ago, Disney made a silly witch movie that starts with child murder and a triple hanging and then features a plot in which a trio of evil sisters tries to steal the souls of children while forcing the parents who are watching the movie to explain what a virgin is to their kids.

Eventually that silly movie became an annual favorite and spawned a lot of chintzy memorabilia and decorations at Spirit Halloween stores and even drag queen interpretations. And so, once again the most devilish and sinister entity rose again from the dead in order to suck the lifeblood from a population: the never-ending hunger for profit by the Disney corporation.

The sequel to Hocus Pocus was released to streaming in 2022, and once again an unknowing teen accidentally releases the Sanderson sisters and they immediately seek out a way to return to life forever by consuming something from the town’s children. Featuring a few very game costars and a “sure, why not” set of performances from the three leads, this movie is indeed a thing you can watch if you have Disney+. Whether you think it’s good or not may depend entirely on if you classify yourself as a “Disney adult.” If you are, pull on your newest $180 Minnie Mouse onesie and strap on Walt’s feedbag for a nice helping of mediocre slop!

Full disclosure: I was not much of a Disney kid and am far and away not a Disney adult. I had never seen the first of these movies until introduced to it by my wife who watched it when it first came out and loves it. Because I love her and she has watched some of the weirder stuff coming later this month with me, we have seen the first Hocus Pocus numerous times. And even SHE got done watching this sequel and declared it awful.

The Scariest Part of the Movie: they had fantastic actors like Hannah Waddingham, Tony Hale and Sam Richardson in this cast, and it’s still boring.

Spookiness Factor: no matter how hard you work or successful you become in an HBO series about white ladies doing a lot of boning, you too could find yourself pulling on a 30-year-old corset to satisfy the undead hunger of Walt Disney.

Wife’s Commentary: “Well, THAT sucked.”

Rating: 2 out of 10 Milky Way bars