Coming up in the next week or so:

House of Comedy 12/3 at 7:30pm (free to get in, good mix of new folks and experienced comics in a showcase format if you want a fun Tuesday night out)
Supernatural Brewing 12/5 at 8pm (this is sold out, tickets may be available at the door, I’m closing this out)
Black Dog Tavern 12/14 at 7:30pm (this is close to sold out, I’m headlining, fun lineup, be somebody)

The Ghoulish Plot: It’s Halloween and Charlie Brown and his “friends” are eager to celebrate. But Linus believes in a mystical Great Pumpkin that will visit the most sincere pumpkin patch that night, and instead of partaking in tricks and treats he sets up shop in a nearby pumpkin patch, only to be disappointed yet again.

If you grew up in America in the last part of the 20th Century you’ve definitely seen this. I wouldn’t say I was a big fan of the Peanuts strip growing up, but as I got older I began to realize the deep undercurrent of melancholy within the strip, and also how relevant the experience of the characters were to my memories of growing up in a small Midwest town in the 80s/90s. Now I’ve read the bulk of the entire run of the strip and read the biography of the creator, Charles Schulz, and hold it up there with Calvin & Hobbes and The Far Side as one of the greats of all time.

The thing that has struck me as I’ve gotten older and rewatch this (and the Christmas special) is the way the story represents that big heaping helping of melancholic disappointment that you start to develop as you get to be an older kid at these big holidays. You hope and believe that somehow it will feel as fun and great as it seems like it’s supposed to, and the event can never quite get to those heights…and you have to learn to adapt and savor it anyway. And then you find the parts that mean the most to you, and ignore the rest. It’s not quite as fun as watching Dagwood hork down another giant sandwich, but goddamn does it resonate as you get older.

And…that’s it for the 2024 Cinema of Spookeries! Thanks to the couple dozen of you who reliably stopped by, I appreciate it.

Happy Halloween!

The Ghoulish Plot: It’s Halloween night in a town in Ohio, and as any Michigan person can tell you, there’s nothing more terrifying than being stuck in Ohio.

On that night, four intersecting stories occur with related characters, most of which falls into the classic Twilight Zone “Nice Try, Asshole” story mode — meaning, somebody thinks they’ve got it all figured out and are going to succeed at something, then another factor comes in to change the story and gives the protagonist a “nice try, asshole!” shock to the system.

This is a fun, fast 90-minute Halloween story with some solid shocks and scares, gruesome but not “Terrifier”-level gruesome and with some pretty great character actors filling up the story – including Brian Cox, whose career will be studied for years as an Emmy-winning HBO prestige series star, first Hannibal Lector, random comedy movie supporting player, and McDonald’s Spokesperson.

The Scariest Part of the Movie: at one point some kids have played a mean prank, and the subject of that prank gets a chance to turn it around pretty brutally. Well played, Trick R Treat.

Spookiness Factor: there are some brutal moments and gore, but after watching horror movies all month this felt pretty middle of the road to me in terms of spookiness.

Rating: 8 out of 10 Hundred Grand bars

The Ghoulish Plot: 40 years ago an escaped mental patient who had brutally killed his sister as a child went on a rampage in a small town, killing a handful of people before being stopped and captured while trying to kill Laurie Strode, played by the always-awesome Jamie Lee Curtis. After the original movie (which is still great), a series of sequels were produced that got weirder and cornier and tried to add more backstory and reasoning behind one of cinema’s great villains, Michael Myers.

This movie skips all that and is intended to be viewed as the direct sequel to the original, and now Laurie is a survivalist who is twice-divorced, partially estranged from her daughter and living in a remote cabin and plotting how to eventually kill Michael Myers if he ever escapes.

Then, one Halloween, you’re never gonna guess what happens – he DOES escape, and proceeds to go on another brutal rampage with an even higher body count.

Seen as a direct sequel, this is a fantastic follow-up to the original movie and delves into the trauma not only of what the original night did to Laurie, but what her reactions did to the people around her. And Michael is just as brutal and unpredictable as you’d expect, with some gruesome kills and not a whiff of explanation. As a character, I’d equate him to the shark in “Jaws” – he kills because that’s his purpose.

The original movie has been in my October rotation forever, and I hadn’t seen this one since it was first released and it still hits like a freight train. Jamie Lee Curtis delivers a great performance (as usual), and the supporting cast (most especially Judy Greer) all fill the rest of the plot with people you actually care about and don’t want to see murdered by Michael Myers.

The Scariest Part of the Movie: at one point Michael Myers enters into a restroom and somebody is trying to hide in a stall…so Myers puts his hand over the door and drops the teeth from his last victim onto the floor. Holy fuck, dude. I get scared enough when somebody tries to open the dumb stall and I’m in there.

Spookiness Factor: the direction and lighting make it possible that you never know where Michael is coming from; at this point we all mostly know how these things work but this one is done at the highest possible skill level. And it was directed by the same guy who did “Pineapple Express;” as though to prove getting super baked and watching horror movies isn’t stupid.

Rating: 8 out of 10 Full Size Twix

The Ghoulish Plot: A group of 70’s era teens are on a road trip and pick up a hitchhiker who turns out to be crazy. Then they stop at a gas station with no gas, so they find their way to a house that seems to be abandoned. As they start to explore they find out they’re not alone and not only is there a large, silent murderer wielding a chainsaw, but an entire crazy hillbilly family out for blood.

Of all the interpretations of Ed Gein’s insanity, this one remains the most disturbing (at least in my opinion). It’s also very of its time in the mid-70s: nobody is to be trusted, everybody is out for themselves, gas is in short supply and, as always, never ever stop anywhere in rural Texas.

If you’re at all into horror movies and you’ve somehow never seen this, it’s an unabashed classic that isn’t necessarily for every year at Halloween…but when you haven’t seen it in a few years, holy SHIT does it hit hard. It’s just gruesome and greasy and foreboding and threatening in all the ways Rob Zombie tries to make every one of his movies and never quite nails it.

The Scariest Part of the Movie: early on, the villain Leatherface comes out of nowhere, grabs one of the teens and does something so horrific in the span of a few seconds that fully brings you up to speed on what the stakes are. It’s a super-effective and scary moment that sets the tone for the rest of the flick.

Spookiness Factor: bloodthirsty rednecks in rural Texas? High spookiness factor. Yikes.

Rating: 9 out of 10 full-size Snickers

The Ghoulish Plot: Raccoon City, right after the first incident with the T-Virus. Our two heroes, Claire Redfield and Leon Kennedy, are headed to Raccoon City unaware that there are bloodthirsty zombie hordes out to get them. They must get to the police station and then find their way to safety by collecting weapons, solving puzzles and most importantly, blasting zombies in the head again and again.

This is another video game but it’s a perfect one for October/Halloween. The earlier game review in this series I posted, “Resident Evil 4,” is a sequel but nowhere near as scary or effective at creeping you out as this one. That one is an action game, THIS one is very much “survival horror,” whatever the hell that means.

I was legitimately spooked out numerous times by the way the game manipulates you into thinking you’re safe and then surprising you, or just providing a nonstop sense of dread when a particular monster is relentlessly coming after you and you have literally NO way to stop it.

I played the remake version on PS4, and the controls and graphics feel and look great. And bonus: the game is lengthy enough to be worth diving into, but not a 100+ hour marathon of having to retrieve medallions from shrines or whatever in order to get the torch so you can have a magic arrow or something.

The Scariest Part of the Game: Mr. X; once you have him on your tail you’re always at high alert and very aware of how limited your ammo supply is.

Spookiness Factor: Very, very high. Started playing this with the lights off and surround sound going and eventually started keeping the lights on. There are bumps and creaks and zombies breaking through windows at the worst possible moments.

Rating: 8 out of 10 Monster Energy Drinks

The Ghoulish Plot: after not writing these October reviews for a few years I was under no illusion that it would be an internet sensation; this is a WordPress blog I’ve used only to post show details and videos for years and there’s nothing the internet needs less than more movie reviews.

So this month has been a fun writing exercise aimed at the couple-dozen folks who are stopping by regularly. And my guess is that at least a handful of those folks will see this combo and think, “that’s a pretty great match.” Cuz it IS. I’m a genius, praise me, and send me all your money.

Both movies are set in that bygone era of moviemaking filled with silly horror tropes and gimmicks and writer/directors trying to carve out a niche for themselves. “Ed Wood” is based on the real life of the guy who directed “Plan 9 From Outer Space,” and “Matinee” is based on a real-life producer. Both of these were directed by people who were at the height of their powers (Tim Burton and Joe Dante, respectively), both include great performances from their casts and both feature a look into the cost of ambition and self delusion about artistic skill, all wrapped up in the world of corny monster movies.

“Ed Wood” has been a favorite of mine since it came out, and is part of the 4K Blu-Ray collection. I hadn’t seen “Matinee” in years and it holds up supremely well. Are they scary? Only if you compare yourself and your ambition to the protagonists of these films as they try and (mostly) fail to succeed despite their willingness to do whatever it takes. Plus there’s an Oscar-winning Bela Lugosi performance and a movie-within-a-movie called “Mant” that is just fantastic.

The Scariest Part of the Movie(s): that moviemaking like this doesn’t happen anymore. I mean, Tim Burton fell off HARD after Ed Wood was released and it felt almost like he blew out the pipes completely. Joe Dante has continued working but after Gremlins 2 and this, he stopped getting the same carte blanche (even though both of those are better than the Gremlins movie that made all the money).

Spookiness Factor: if you yourself have ever pursued something creative, you will wonder if you are anything like Ed Wood, and it will haunt your dreams.

Rating: 10 out of 10 Twix

The Ghoulish Plot: In the halcyon days of the 1980s, things were different. You could smoke cigarettes literally everywhere, sugary cereals were a part of “a complete breakfast,” and people everywhere looked to a big fat cat who hated Mondays and loved eating lasagna to help us celebrate holidays.

Garfield wakes up on Halloween day to realize it’s Halloween and he can go get candy that night, so he puts together a pirate costume and heads out in the evening to fill up a sack of goodies…only to encounter ghouls and ghosts. Greedy for as much candy as possible, Garfield finds a rowboat and tries to take it to another neighborhood for even more treats, only to find the boat floating to a tiny island with a creepy house on it.

Once he arrives, they find a weird old man who tells them that the island is the location of a buried pirate treasure, and at Midnight the ghosts of those pirates will return. Then the old guy bails and leaves them stuck at the island, and then the ghosts show up and Garfield and his pal Odie have to make a run for it. Will they get home and get to enjoy their candy and catch the latest episode of Dynasty? It’s an animated special from the 80s, so probably!

This animated special somehow made it into the annual rotation for my sister and I growing up, and while it’s no longer a Halloween staple and it’s generally pretty corny and silly and literally every kid I’ve ever tried to show it to since thinks it’s dumb and slow, it’s a fun nostalgia watch every few years. If you grew up when Garfield was at his peak and somehow even inspiring Heathcliffe-era copycats and you’re up for some pretty mediocre jazz songs about finding a costume, then this one is your jam.

The Scariest Part of the Movie: the old man on the island is way scarier than he needed to be. Everything else in this is pretty lame, but some animator must have decided, “fuck it, let’s give some kids nightmares.”

Spookiness Factor: almost zilch, except for the old man.

Rating: 5 out of 10 lasagnas

The Ghoulish Plot: right off the bat, this movie features the first acting role for Paul Reubens after his porn theater scandal, and I love that in 2024 he’s literally the least problematic person involved with this movie as the writer and several of the stars have gone on to prove themselves sex pests, predators and/or right-wing nut jobs. Not Luke Perry, though. Luke is still cool.

Anyway: valley girl discovers she’s “The Slayer,” one of a long tradition of women who have a preternatural disposition to hunt and kill vampires. She also happens to live in a town and go to school at a spot destined for invasion by a superpowered ancient vampire and his gaggle of vampires, so she undergoes training and begins to kill off all the vamps on her way to the big baddie to save her town.

This movie was a precursor to the far superior TV show, which was also created and executive produced by Joss Whedon, who has created and director some very cool stuff while also turning out to be a gigantic scumbag. And star Kristy Swanson later fell down the conservative rabbit hole and became an election denying anti vaxxer who now just makes movies with James Woods and Dean Cain and Kevin Sorbo that are strongly endorsed by The Heritage Foundation.

This is mostly a horror-comedy that leans heavily on the comedy side, and in a turn that I never thought my brain would think or my fingers would type, the whole California Valley Kid shtick was done much better in the Pauly Shore/Brendan Fraser movie “Encino Man.” Just typing those words out hurt me in ways I can never fully articulate.

The Scariest Part of the Movie: I have no idea how somebody goes from “I starred in Buffy the Vampire Slayer” to “hey, maybe the Earth IS flat” but 2024 is fucking weird, dude.

Spookiness Factor: Almost none

Rating: 2 out of 10 Red Vines

The Ghoulish Plot: A couple moves into a big old house with their family sometime in the late 70s. Turns out, the house was the location of some pretty awful witchy murders many years ago and the spirit of that very bad person still haunts the house, seeking to possess mothers and kill their children.

The family finds Lorraine and Ed Warren, who in the movie are very good people who help people deal with supernatural bad things and who in real life were complete and total scumbags who played on people’s emotions and religious beliefs to make a buck. But in the movie, they’re played by attractive movie stars and are not shysters with an Ouija board.

If you’ve somehow never seen one of these before, the first flick in this ever-expanding Conjuringverse of demon nuns and demon dolls is still by far the most effective and entertaining of the whole bunch, and (arguably) the only one with enough solid acting talent to raise it above the spook-house-in-movie-form the rest of the jumpy-scary movies have devolved into.

This is also the horror movie James Wan opted to make after his success with the “Saw” franchise, which devolved into dumber and dumber plot lines and inane traps and morality nonsense. This is a well-made modern haunted house movie with some fun jumps and surprises, and after it’s done you can just skip pretty much the whole rest of the Conjuring universe movies. And also do not look up Ed and Lorraine’s Wikipedia before you watch this; they were HUGE pieces of shit in real life.

The Scariest Part of the Movie: this movie can still make me jump in multiple spots. This time it was a specific scene involving hide-and-seek/clap, but there’s nothing particularly gory or gross.

Rating: 7 out of 10 Chick Tracts